Olympic dreams

Do you think there will ever come a time when you decide that your dreams are not going to happen? Do your dreams ever recede so far into the realm of unlikelihood that you just have to admit to yourself that they are never going to come true?

I came across this worrying thought recently. I am never going to be a world-class sportsman. Pretty gloomy and pessimistic sort of thought, really. Then I saw that one of the Archery competitors at the Olympics was both older than me and had only taken up the sport a couple of years ago. So that’s all right then, it’s never too late. One day Hollywood may come calling – It did for a lot of actors well into their adult life.

Even aside from becoming a matinee idol (which I am not naturally gifted to be anyway) there is always the chance of whoring myself as a screenwriter and being horribly crushed beneath a bulldozer made of cash. Sounds fine, I feel much better now.

Back, then, to the Olympics. Am I alone in thinking that there are a lot of sports that seem to rely for the medal decision on the opinion of judges? I don’t really class these as sports; they are the equivalent of flower arranging or the Miss World contest.

There is no doubting the fitness, skill and dedication of Gymnasts, Divers, Figure Skaters, Ski Jumpers or Judoka; it’s just that someone who may or may not have the necessary skill to understand what is the best arbitrarily judges them. The judge may even be a former world class contender, for all I know, but they are not the best in the world right now and they shouldn’t get to decide who else is.

Face it, no one doubts who won the men’s 100 metres Gold medal. Usain Bolt absolutely schooled his opponents and the fact he crossed the line first was in no doubt.

Now take a look at the Judo. Several times during the Judo finals, both competitors came up from a throw with their arms in the air celebrating a win, it was then up to the judges do decide who had actually won. It takes away any possibility of a clear victory. Allow Judo to be decided entirely on submissions and remove the clock then all the ref needs to be present for is to spot any rule infractions. Bring back Pankration from the original Greek games and that is largely moot. Give me those rule changes and I’d let Judo back in, Boxing too.

The same goes for Ski Jumping. The majority of points come from style with a small amount from distance. Get rid of style and make distance the only decider. It wouldn’t be pretty but let’s face up to it, unless you are Finnish or Norwegian, you only watch Ski Jumping to see the crashes.

There’s no hope for Gymnastics or Synchronised swimming though. I think we should replace them with Darts or maybe Snooker, give the fatties a chance outside Shooting and Hammer Throwing.

So, that’s a new dream for me, become the next Baron de Coubertain and create a judge free Olympics. That or get really good at Darts; I’m working on the belly and alcohol tolerance right now.